she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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