if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
