john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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