omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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