His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
