Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
