OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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