just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
