i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Randomize
