Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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