Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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