I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Randomize