fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
