if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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