You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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