thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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