i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Randomize
