just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
