Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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