Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
