I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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