Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
