one word: firstdatebathroomanal
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
