my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
