Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
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