i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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