I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize