so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
