Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Mom said you looked used
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
