I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
