omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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