There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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