I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
