That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
