I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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