i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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