South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
