grandma shit on top of the toilet
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
be right there i have to get my cape
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Randomize
