Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
