Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
