Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
