I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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