I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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