Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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