Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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