I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize