I feel like I'm in dance class right now
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Randomize
