I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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