I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Princesses don't give blow jobs
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
Randomize
