Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
