Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
