Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
