he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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