I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
if i died would you start the facebook group?
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
