and you said cock pushups were impossible
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
