So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
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