Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
NoShamevember. You game?
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
