Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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