Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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