I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
