walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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