dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize