Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize
