what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
