I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize