let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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