When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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