I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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