The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
