Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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