you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
my nose is crying tears of wow.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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