where does the pee come out of this thing
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
