How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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