dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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