God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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