I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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