Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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